Another Milestone

You might get a little tired of hearing updates about the physical milestones I'm reaching these days. Too bad! It's my blog, and I want to talk about them!! =)

Today was another big one for me. Sure, it's something other people do frequently, but I'm not other people... I went in to warm up for my session with my trainer at the gym this morning. Remember, I told you all about how I ran 1/2 mile way back when (okay, I just don't recall the exact date, but it was actually fairly recently)? Well, today I ran 1/2 mile before my workout, *and* I ran another 1/2 mile after my workout. I ran an entire mile on the treadmill today! That's huge for me!

Since I ran that first 1/2 mile on the treadmill, I thought I would be brave and go outside and try to jog outdoors. I haven't had much success when I run outside, though. I think it's much more work to run outdoors, though, because you have to actually propel yourself forward as you run. On the treadmill, you just have to pick your feet up as the treadmill moves under you. Does that make sense? I'm going to have to think about that some more, but for now, that's my best explanation. (Travis thinks it might have something to do with air quality, but I don't think it's that much of a factor. Sorry, honey!)

Next goal: Run for a full 15 minutes and not worry about the distance I go. Right now, I'm only running .5 mile at about 4.5 - 5 miles an hour, so that doesn't take me 15 minutes (actually, it probably takes me 7 minutes or less). If I could actually run for a full 15 minutes, I would run more than a mile! What will that be like? (I'll let you know...)

Things Left Unsaid

You know how you have a conversation or argument or interview, and afterward, you think about what you said and how you said it? And then you think of a hundred things you could have said? Or you think of how you could have said just about everything better?

Well, I have had one of those events with regard to the Coast to Coast walk (in England) that I'm going to be doing in August of this year. We've been meeting once a week as a group to walk together, and a couple of times, the documentary's producer has had someone filming for the documentary. One of the purposes for this was to have pre-walk footage and interviews to compare with during-walk and post-walk footage and interviews. Another purpose for filming now was in order to produce a film trailer/teaser to present to potential financial supporters and/or purchasers of the film rights.

At any rate, even though we usually knew what was going to be asked ahead of time, when the camera was on and the questions were being asked, I didn't say anything very interesting or noteworthy...something that would grab peoples' attention and get them to want to see the whole documentary.

Tonight I went out for a jog/walk with Travis, and I came home and was taking a shower, when I finally thought of how to put my feelings about this whole walk into words.

For me, this Coast to Coast walk isn't about people walking up some hills or four women walking across an entire country. It's about pushing myself to do more and be more and finish something well. I have a really bad habit of allowing myself to not complete what I start. And I've allowed myself excuses where there really shouldn't have been any (like with my poor eating and exercise habits). I have decided that this is finally going to be the point in my life where I push myself to do something extraordinary. I can't settle for anything but my best effort anymore.

And I've really feel that God is going to bless my efforts greatly, if I keep my focus on Him and keep up my end of the bargain. I've already tried and failed more times than I can count in my lifetime doing things where I depended upon my own abilities and strength and knowledge. Now I feel like He's telling me to lean on Him and depend on Him, and I know that it's the right thing to do and the only way I'll truly be successful.

But it is (and will probably continue to be) so terribly difficult for me to let go of my control and just turn it over to God. It's easy to say, and people tell me how they do it all the time, and I hear it in the worship songs and on Christian music radio stations. But the 'doing' is where I fall down. I get impatient and take the reins back.

But this time I'm really trying to let go. And, if I do, I know there will be no stopping me!

Need vs. Want

I know that there must already be at least a half million posts on the Internet about this subject, but now there will be one more...

I went downstairs this morning to put a load of laundry in the washer and made the mistake - on the way back through the basement - of looking at what we have stored down there. From that point until almost lunchtime, I spent the better part of the morning (when I was planning to go to the gym) poking through boxes and sorting items.

Which is what brought me to the whole "need vs. want" topic. Why do I find it so hard to let go of things that I don't use on a regular basis? If the Tater Twister were a large part of our daily lives, wouldn't it be upstairs in the kitchen where we could get to it? Do we really *need* 22 books on Celtic history and archaeology? Am I ever really going to use the approximately 50 yards of pure, heavyweight wool fabric that I bought when we were active in the Society for Creative Anachronism? How many rolls of wrapping paper and bags of bows do two people actually use in an average year? You get the picture.

So, now I'm sorting through the rooms and all the stuff in them. It's like an episode of that show "Clean Sweep" (only I don't have a crew to help me carry and shuffle and sort or a TV host to help me see the error of my past hoarding ways). I have piles of "Keep," "Give Away on Freecycle," "Sell," and "No One in Their Right Mind Would Ever Want This."

This is a time-consuming process, and I'm only in the sorting stage. After I get done with the sorting, I have to wait and let my husband go through the "Give Away" and "Sell" piles, so I don't inadvertently get rid of some childhood treasure or other item that's dear to his heart. (He has trouble with "need vs. want" as well, though...) Then it's time to take pictures of the "Sell" items. Next, someone has to produce all the ads for the Internet - Freecycle for the "Give Away" stuff and I-don't-know-where for the items we want to sell. (Should we try Craigslist or go straight to setting up an account on Amazon or eBay?) Then someone has to respond to the people who want to receive the freebies or buy the "Sell" items.

I think I just got myself a part-time job!

I have to keep looking at the big picture. How nice will it be to have all that "stuff" out of our house? Ahhhhhh...

When does Yard Sale season begin?

Dental Obsession

I'm just wondering why we, here in the United States, are so obsessed with our teeth. I mean, have we just run out of other things to obsess about, so we need to move to the next thing? We've lost sleep worrying over our weight, our fitness, our wrinkled skin, our body odor, our breath, and our hair, so someone in marketing somewhere decided we needed to fixate on our teeth now? I don't care how white my teeth are, and if you care how white my teeth are and will base judgements about me on the whiteness of my teeth, shame on you!

And just how white is white enough, people? One of my favorite episodes of "Friends" was the one where Ross bleached his teeth, and they were so white they glowed under blacklights. That's pretty much how ridiculous I think this whole subject has become.

I went to the grocery store to buy toothpaste the other day, and I swear I could not find any plain toothpaste with fluoride. Every type of toothpaste in the aisle contained some sort of whitening agent. And they're not cheap toothpastes either. I really thought that I might have to go back to the days of baking soda and/or hydrogen peroxide or something like that.

While I was thinking about how expensive toothpaste had become, it occurred to me that I had seen toothpaste at the dollar store. So, I went to the dollar store and bought a full-sized tube of good ol' plain toothpaste with fluoride in it - the kind I've been using all my life. It has served me well, and I see no reason to pay $4.99 for a toothpaste that contains whitening agents I don't want when I can pay $1 and get toothpaste that cleans my teeth and gives me fresh breath and nothing more.

My teeth do exactly what teeth are supposed to do. I can tear off chunks of food and chew it and rarely does any escape from between my lips. I can whistle through my teeth like my dad taught me when I was very young (poor Mom!), and the dog comes running (when she wants to). And I can use them in lieu of the sewing scissors I can never find to cut off thread when I'm hand sewing. I can speak and sing in what I believe is a relatively understandable manner. What more could I need?

"Losing Weight Is Hard Work"

I saw the line "Losing weight is hard work" on an ad when I was signed on to my Facebook page. "Losing weight is hard work." Duh! Did someone tell you it wasn't? Is there someone (over 30 years of age) who thinks it isn't?

I have noticed that, since I have been 'public' about my weight loss and fitness efforts, many people are happy to share with me what I have been doing wrong and are further happy to tell me how I can 'fix' myself.

I probably sound bitter, but I guess I would have to say that I appreciate your concern about my well-being, but I know what I need to do. At this point, it's actually between me and God. I'm not strong enough to do it on my own, and He knows it. I believe we're at a point where He's letting me know that I need to depend less on my own control (on what *I* can do) and lean more on Him in order to be successful. Of course, He's right (as usual)!

If I were able to do it on my own strength and ability, why haven't I? I know about nutrition and exercise and calorie control. I just let that little lying voice in my head convince me that I don't really need to exercise today and one more piece of pizza won't really put me that much further behind... What a crock!

At any rate, what I would like to say is that I welcome your prayers and your words of encouragement, but (unless I specifically ask you), please keep your advice about what I'm doing wrong to yourself. I already know...

A Legend in My Own Mind

So I apparently can influence the behavior of others. After hearing about (or reading about) my rigorous workouts on the treadmill this week, no fewer than three people have told me that they, too, have pushed themselves into working harder and actually running during their treadmill workouts.

Now, I'd like to think that reason they have done this is that they are inspired by my super-human efforts in the realm of fitness, but I think there's probably a more simple and mundane reason for it. I think it's more likely that they see me as a weak link, and they are not going to allow the chubby girl to become more physically fit than they are, because this will either (a) make them feel worse about their own fitness or (b) make other people think they are less fit than they had thought. (It's okay. I refer myself as a "chubby girl" all the time. Somehow, to me, it's less harsh than "fat.")

I guess I don't really care the reason that I have been a catalyst in other people's pursuit of fitness. If I have to, I will run until I drop, just so everyone that knows me can be in the best shape they've ever been in. That's my contribution to a more fit world.

Is This (Finally) the Year?

Like many other Americans - and others around the world, too, I'm sure - at the beginning of a new year, I think, "This is gonna be the year I _____ !" (Fill in the blank for yourself.) I don't exactly make New Year's Resolutions, but I think about things I'd like to accomplish during the upcoming twelve months. And, to be honest, I'm not really very good at accomplishing the "big stuff."

Maybe my goals are just too large. Perhaps I should just break them down into smaller, bite-sized pieces, so I can feel like I'm actually ticking things off the "To Do" list for the year. Of course, I complete projects and I do get things done, but when I look back at the end of the year, the "big stuff" is still there on the list - unticked. One of those things is losing weight/getting in shape.

A friend of mine is producing a documentary film about a group of women who train for and then accomplish Alfred Wainwright's Coast to Coast Walk across Great Britain. The walk is a little over 190 miles and is generally done in stages over the course of 14 - 16 days. This walk for the documentary is slated to take place in August 2009.

At the end of last year, I began earnestly praying for help from God about my struggle with my weight. I'm talking about face-down, tears rolling down my face, pleading for help. And then, along comes this opportunity to train with this group of women and participate in this walk.

Since then, I have slowly been working my way up to walking 6+ miles in one stretch (some sections of the Coast to Coast walk are over 20 miles long) and have been trying to do more strenuous walks up hills and on tougher terrain. (May I just say, as an aside, that we are so blessed to have all of the trails of the Ridge to Rivers system here in Boise. They are the perfect training ground - when they aren't wet or covered with snow, that is...)

And this week, I finally did it. I got on a treadmill (which isn't really new) and I ran (which *is* new for me)! The first day, I ran about 1/2 mile, but I couldn't do it all at once. Today (my 2nd day) I told myself that I was going to run 1/2 mile in one go. I started by walking for a few minutes and then I started running. I got to about 1/4 mile, and I had to slow down and walk again. But, unlike the *me* of the past, I didn't give up my goal of 1/2 mile. I walked for another few minutes and then I ran again. This time, I did it. I ran 1/2 a mile!

Now, I'm sure this may not seem like a big deal to many people. And, if you don't know me, you won't really know why it's a big deal for me. But I'll tell you this: I haven't run anywhere for any reason since . . . well, I guess it was during high school when I participated in interscholastic volleyball. I haven't run in my adult life, and I am now in my 40s. This is a big deal for me!

And it's not only that I haven't run in years and years, it's also that I have a disdain for running, as it were (and that's putting it mildly). I have never liked running, and I will probably never like running, but that's not the point. I'm trying to build up my endurance (and rather quickly, since I need to catch up to the other women in the group), and I feel that this is something I need to do to reach that interim goal.

And tomorrow is our weekly walk as a group. The other women have all decided we should walk the Table Rock trail (which is something like over 1000 foot vertical gain in a little less than a mile, I think) until we can all easily do that. So , since I am currently the weakest link in the walking group, I need to ramp up my workouts on the days we're not walking as a group, so I can keep up and not feel like they're always waiting for me.

So, pray for me, will ya? Because I feel like this is finally "the year"!